Comedy Writers Nationwide Feel Somewhat Stifled by the Unbelievable Levels of Gratitude and Empathy Being Expressed by Otherwise Terrible People.

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November 27, 2014

By Brian David

“I mean, President Obama hijacks national television to extol the virtues of family and togetherness,” begins one comedian whose curmudgeonly humor totally kills on every other day of the year, “and that makes it difficult to wittily remind people that he literally blows families and family members apart, both bodily and geographically, with drone strikes.”

Another comedian calls attention to Senator Rand Paul asking everyone to give credit to the Lord for our feast, while completely ignoring the fact that he rips off Wikipedia with a frequency and volume that would make a writer of “original” pop songs blush.

“And I’m the asshole” says a nationally published satirist, “when I remind people that mostly I’m thankful the Lord doesn’t deem it necessary to dole out another Tsunami to mark another great capitalist-Christian holiday.”